sky.

i love the sky.

its so vast. the whole of space is right there above my head. here in florida there are no mountains, so it just goes on forever. i love the feeling of being really small compared to something.

i love that sometimes a cloudy sky makes me all melancholy, the sunshine makes me feel so alive, it all causes me to marvel at how great the Creator is. i love the puffy white clouds and the stars at night, sunrises and sunsets.

but i can't help but think this is the corrupt fallen version of the sky, because Paul writes in Romans 8:22 "For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now."

so this beautiful vastness that causes me to loose my breath on occasion is just a gross version of what it was supposed to be. is that possible?

i cannot even imagine the beauty that we have to behold in creation, when it is all redeemed, but even more than that, the Creator. I am looking forward to the day when we see Jesus face to face, when the veil is lifted. I want to live in light of that day.

process.

i am becoming more and more convinced that the Lord calls us to move forward on things He does not intend to bring to fruition. for example, i am convinced that God sometimes calls people to the application/interview process for a job or a graduate program that He does not want that person to actually enroll in. i say this because i think it applies to a lot of areas of life. i don't know if its cultural or if its just me, but i do not want to enter into things that take up time and energy without the ends in mind. but i am beginning to think that sometimes Jesus just wants to use circumstances as a backdrop for what He is doing in our lives.

i am thinking about this ministry that i would love to be a part of, but i am not sure if i want to do it or if the Lord wants me to do it. it seems like if He doesn't want me to be a part of this, then shouldn't He in His infinite wisdom, just let me know that it isn't for me? but then no, He doesn't do that, He even seems to prompt me to move forward. so, i move forward.

this leaves me with a question: is it all for nothing?

i lean towards saying there is great purpose in the process. but i think it might be in more than just the job/education search.

i just think that process can be such an incredible time to seek the face of Jesus and that's pretty much the point. i am learning to be okay living in the gray of life because it is giving me incredible opportunity to look upon what God is doing and how He is doing it. so all in all i'm thankful for the time of process.

so i guess what i am saying is that i want to enter into process with my whole self. i have to believe that He is the one who is pushing me into these processes and i have to hope that the risk is worth it.

i guess the whole point of this blog is i don't like risk. i don't want to risk because it leaves me hurt and i have to believe that Jesus can take care of my hurt.

can He?

violence.

can you point out one instance in the four Gospels when Jesus allows or supports violence?
please let me know if you find one.
thanks.

prosperity and suffering: an introduction

the prosperity gospel. it sucks. what a waste of time. ("Prosperity theology, also known as prosperity doctrine or the Prosperity Gospel, is the doctrine that prosperity, particularly financial prosperity, and success in business or personal life is external evidence of God's favor." from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prosperity_gospel)

how often do we, here in America, live out of the prosperity gospel? you might think, the prosperity gospel is not the Gospel. and you would be absolutely correct. but i think we often talk at least in a way like God owes us something. like He is supposed to give us specific things. i think that often our view of suffering is so off because we think through a lens of the prosperity gospel. but instead of being "God loves me so I'm going to be rich" we say "God loves me so I won't get sick or I'm going to have a happy life"

i am convinced that this is at the root of our poor view of suffering, more than our poor view of suffering, our unbiblical view of suffering.

john piper's view on the prosperity Gospel.


i'm still working out my thoughts on suffering. you'll get them in the new year.

i'm going to indiana so i'll catch you in 2008

christmas.

so i went to this awesome Christmas spectacular last night. it was awesome. there was a 150 voice choir singing all the songs we know and love. as i was listening i was struck with a strange dichotomy the things the choir was singing were radical biblical truths. the one that stuck out to me was the "Jesus will reign forevermore" line. Under other circumstances, if someone were to have simply stood on the stage with a microphone and uttered those very same words, people would have freaked out. they would have called that person a radical Christian fundamentalist. i just think of what is allowed for the sake of tradition. not that i think its bad that we sing Christmas songs. i really enjoy it and i really enjoy the biblical truths. i was just noting the double standard.

on a second note, there was a beautiful lead window that had Father Christmas with the baby Jesus on the "very first Christmas" and it just made me laugh. Father Christmas appears no where in the four Gospels, but somehow he seems to be more affiliated with Christmas than the name Emmanuel, which is the hope that comes with Christmas. listen i like Santa as much as the next person, but seriously.

oh who doesn't love the secularization of Holy days or holidays?

ramblings.

so i think i'm going to tap into creativity more. i like creative things. but i have this fear that other people might think things i've poured my heart out into are lame. which is a risk that i have to be willing to take, right? right. so i'm going to be more creative. i'm going to take risks. scary. i like to try new things. i have enjoyed almost all the new things i have tried this fall. i really like rock climbing, who would have guessed it. i have enjoyed jogging, its good to zone out for a bit. i like salsa dancing when i don't feel like i'm so awkward at it. i have really, really enjoyed my job. i think its a good fit for me. i think i might stay, but who knows. i don't have to decide today, so i won't decide today :) anyway.
i really like Sufjan Stevens rendition of Come Thou Fount...its one of my favorite hymns.
there is something about a good hymn. there is depth and emotion. after all this time, people still feel those things.
i feel like i am beginning an intense thing with the Lord. not that it wasn't intense before, but now it is getting serious. i think it might be hard, i think it is going to be really hard. without going into any detail i think He's going to uproot some junk. i'm excited for when its over and there is freedom, but the process has to potential to be pretty intense.
but i'm in for it. ready or not here it comes.

arguing

so do you think we are arguing about the wrong things?
do you think that maybe we are getting stopped up and wrapped up in talking and bickering about the wrong things?
i think maybe we have. and by we, i mean i.
i'm so quick to want to have the best argument or to not be willing to change positions, because if i do, i am called to change.
but i claim to be a woman who loves Truth, who seeks after that which is right and good.
how is it that this fight is against one another? not that heresy or bad exegesis is okay. not that we should be okay with bad teaching, but how do we get in these fights that aren't about the things that really matter? how does the enemy convince that the goal is to be right about things that cannot be known? the problem is an has always been that humans want to be like God and it is not possible.
i just keep thinking about how many talks i have heard on the dangers of post-modernity and how it is going to be the downfall of the whole earth. ever since Genesis 3 the world has been headed to downfall, the whole Noahic flood thing was because of how screwed up things got and the whole New Covenant Jesus thing is about redeeming this screwed up place.
we live in this world, Jesus calls us to be in the world, but not of the world. and in the world post-modernity is happening. it simply cannot be stopped. that is not the fight. worldviews are wrong. the only worldview that is correct is the one Jesus holds. the Truth that He came to bring a new kingdom, He came to redeem all things. He came that His people might have life and have it abundantly, if we are willing to lose our lives, to gain them.
what good is it to have a great rebuttal for post-modernity, if it is simply another messed up worldview? is modernity any better? no. its not. it is still not the Gospel of Jesus. the fight becomes about who's writing what and what are they insinuating. then its about whether or not we should do whatever. this fight becomes about things, instead of about Jesus. the point is not that living out this life is unimportant, but that believers are able to live out this life by the power of the Holy Spirit and by the Truths that have been laid out for us in the Scriptures. when the battle begins to be about people and those who represent the "others" those who disagree, then we lose. because the reality is that the battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers and principalities of darkness. this is a spiritual battle, that we fight against the deceiver, against the one who tries to hold us in bondage to sin. but the battle is not fought with weapons of this world, but have divine power to destroy strongholds.
every person that walks the face of the earth bears the image of the One True God. every person. so there is no "enemy" of the flesh that can be of little or no value, because each person is an image bearer he is important. because he is known by God the Father, he is important. that's just true. yet i am prone to see those who disagree with me or those who would seek harm for me as my enemies. Jesus says take care of them, LOVE them. how insane.
why is it that i continue to look to what is true, but don't live out what i already know is true?
Jesus says to love one another, that is how they will know who His disciples are, by their love. but i'm too busy trying to be "right" to love.
we fight about doctrine and the way to study the Word and all of these issues. they are important, but they are important not because they will lead us to life abundant but because they are supposed to help us to seek the Father, His Kingdom and to be like Him. not so we can squander away the precious time we have to live out these truths that we find.
i don't have any conclusions, i don't know what this looks like practically, but i am beginning to think that maybe it doesn't look a certain way, but it is the Way. it doesn't seem like Jesus cared all that much about pragmatism either. He calls us to trust Him with everything, to lay down our lives, that He will bring them back up in the resurrection.
yet, i seek after all the things of this world, what's worse is i try to make is spiritual, so its even more shameful. Jesus says what good is it if a man gains the whole world, but loses his soul? i think that is the question.