i'm flying over the rocky mountains right now. headed home.
i am excited to get home. excited to spend time with friends. get work done. live my regular life.
as i sit in this chair, i can't help but think everything is going to be different. i can feel the winds of change shifting in my own heart. i am compelled to begin the hard work, i am convinced it is time to leave adolescence and become an adult. i am ready to stop drinking milk and start eating the solid food of the Gospel.
this week i got to hang out with my two year old nephew (who by the way is adorable and awesome) and the thing that i noticed is that while he can and does eat real people food, he still wants to drink a bottle. it's not the milk, but the bottle. and i can't help but think that i am so much like my sweet little nephew.
i think i am afraid to leave what i know, afraid to be responsible, afraid to be an adult.
now for you that know me, you are probably shocked at that little statement. i am generally responsible. but that is in my actions, in my physical life, in the life i can control.
but where it is difficult is in my spiritual life. i fear going past the safety of childhood, because i know what is out there is 100% out of my control and i know it is a difficult journey. i prefer to stay here where i can seem good, than go out there where i can fail. where God can take my life and do all sorts of crazy things and i could end up in a situation i can't control. i could lose everything. but first i have to know what i have. first i have to have something that could be lost.
paul writes, " i count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. for his sake i have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that i may gain Christ." paul knew what he was talking about. but he had to venture into adulthood in order to lose everything to gain the One thing, JESUS.
i want that. i believe that is absolutely true. i believe that Jesus is everything. i believe He is the only place you can find life. i stake my life on that. now i need to live it. fully. completely. sacrificing everything.
