Tuesday, December 1, 2009

count the cost.

i'm flying over the rocky mountains right now. headed home.
i am excited to get home. excited to spend time with friends. get work done. live my regular life.
as i sit in this chair, i can't help but think everything is going to be different. i can feel the winds of change shifting in my own heart. i am compelled to begin the hard work, i am convinced it is time to leave adolescence and become an adult. i am ready to stop drinking milk and start eating the solid food of the Gospel.
this week i got to hang out with my two year old nephew (who by the way is adorable and awesome) and the thing that i noticed is that while he can and does eat real people food, he still wants to drink a bottle. it's not the milk, but the bottle. and i can't help but think that i am so much like my sweet little nephew.
i think i am afraid to leave what i know, afraid to be responsible, afraid to be an adult.
now for you that know me, you are probably shocked at that little statement. i am generally responsible. but that is in my actions, in my physical life, in the life i can control.
but where it is difficult is in my spiritual life. i fear going past the safety of childhood, because i know what is out there is 100% out of my control and i know it is a difficult journey. i prefer to stay here where i can seem good, than go out there where i can fail. where God can take my life and do all sorts of crazy things and i could end up in a situation i can't control. i could lose everything. but first i have to know what i have. first i have to have something that could be lost.
paul writes, " i count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. for his sake i have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that i may gain Christ." paul knew what he was talking about. but he had to venture into adulthood in order to lose everything to gain the One thing, JESUS.
i want that. i believe that is absolutely true. i believe that Jesus is everything. i believe He is the only place you can find life. i stake my life on that. now i need to live it. fully. completely. sacrificing everything.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

thanksgiving.

i made my first ever turkey on tuesday, it was delicious. i'm going to have to start making "traditional" meals more often. there seems to be a reason why they are traditions :)

hope you have a happy thanksgiving.

i'll be spending mine where i grew up in southern california.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

crush on the world

I’ve never really believed that the world had all that much to offer. Therefore, I used to think that all religion was a manmade attempt to believe in something “bigger”, so that we lowly mortals might find purpose in this unkind, lonely universe. Such an optimist, I know. But then I started hearing more and more about Jesus, and what’s more I met some people who claimed to follow Him. At first I thought these people were great, some of the best kind of people, but they were clearly fooled into believing this great cultural myth about Jesus. But as I heard and read more about the Bible and Jesus Himself, I became irrevocably convinced that Jesus is in fact who He says He is.
One of the most compelling arguments for me was made by legendary British author, C.S. Lewis. He basically says that Jesus is either a liar—like a devil of hell, Lord—which is who He claims to be, or a lunatic—with the same mental capacity as one who claims to be a piece of toast. No great moral teacher could falsely claim to be God Himself and still be known as a great moral teacher. Neither could a loony have the kind of historical credibility that Jesus has. So by my great powers of deduction Jesus must be Lord—just as He claims in the Bible.
As a Christian now, my entire world is shaped by the reality of the person of Jesus and the unequivocal authority of Scripture. And although my whole world changed, and I do mean my whole world, one thing has remained the same. I’m still not convinced the world has much to offer. The Psalmist writes it most eloquently, “Who have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth I desire besides you.” (73:25). Not everyone necessarily believes this about the world; in fact I would say that the majority of Americans live as though the world owes them something. They instinctively believe that things can and even should go well for them. Comedian Louis CK went on Conan O’Brien and did an entire segment about how we have everything, but all we do is complain (you should watch it, its hilarious).
It’s because we as humans have a tendency to have a crush on the world. Yes, you read that correctly, a crush on the world. When you have a crush on a person everything he does is somehow awesome and probably an indication that he can’t live without you. We do the same thing with the world. When stuff goes wrong it’s an exception and every positive interaction means that I can be fully satisfied by the world. The problem with crushes is that they tend to hurt. If they didn’t they would probably be called something else. It must be all the manifest destiny crap we learned in grade school from School House Rock because most of us walk around as though we still live in the Garden of Eden with only minor hiccups to disrupt our otherwise picturesque world. Hello, have you taken a look outside your little world?!?! This world is desperately falling apart at the seams. Not that I mean to be all doom and gloom, but seriously why is anyone surprised when things don’t go according to plan. We should be surprised when they do!
The truth is when Adam and Eve ate from that infamous tree everything changed. The world broke. It was no longer under the consistent protection and care of the Loving Creator. Not that God took off; He just (in His infinitely perfect and sovereign plan) allowed Satan to run rampant. Paul refers to Satan as the “god of this world” who “has blinded the minds of the unbelievers” in 2 Corinthians 4:4. He also writes in Romans 8:20-21, “For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that itself will be set free from its bondage of decay and obtain the freedom of glory of the children of God.” So if even the trees are aware that things are off, you’d think we might have gotten the same hint. The world is jacked up. Yet somehow we continue to believe the lie that it can satisfy. I’m not surprised though that most people have crushes on the world. Despite the hard evidence that things are broken (poverty, disease, war, destruction), we were made for perfection, we were made for Eden.
And nature was not the only thing discombobulated in the fall, people were too. Instead of trusting God implicitly, we began to trust our own thinking to find truth. With a little help from that darn serpent, Adam and Eve convinced themselves that they knew better than God. As soon as they chose to do things their own way, they became their own little gods; it was the beginning of the first and deepest sin, one that penetrates every heart -- Idolatry. And less than one chapter later in the Biblical timeline idolatry turned into murder when Cain killed Abel. You can see how the fall had real consequences on the way we live and treat one another. So we have this deep longing for perfection, but live in a fallen world, full of fallen people and we ourselves are fallen…that doesn’t seem like such a great situation, because it isn’t. All of this causes us to want to believe that things can be great; the world can be everything it’s supposed to be. Because we want it to be true we are inclined to believe the advertisements that suggest a new car will change my whole life or that energy drink will give me the abilities I’ve always desired (and probably deserve).
We want the world to work for us, we want to never be cut off in traffic, we want to find the perfect sweater on the clearance rack, we want to meet the person who bring fulfillment to our lives, and we want to win the lottery. Things are simply not this way. If you’re nice you won’t always get what’s coming to you, if you work hard you won’t always be rewarded. Your life probably won’t be easy. Conflict and trial are a part of the human condition. When the author of Hebrews wanted to convey Jesus’ humanity he wrote, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin” (4:15). The author did not write, “We know His humanity because just like us, everything went well for Him.” If that were the case we wouldn’t need Jesus. There would be no need for redemption. But there is.
It is clear that we desperately need redeeming. God always knew that Adam and Eve would choose to disobey Him and eat the fruit, and He had a plan to bring His people back to Him. See God is holy, without an imperfection and cannot by His nature be with sinful people. We were made to be in relationship with God, so in order for us to have that relationship with God we have to get rid of our sin. Romans 6:23 says that what we owe for our sin is death. The only way for our sin to be paid for is to be “purchased” by death. Isaiah 53:5 speaks of Jesus saying, “But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed.” When a man dies his death pays what is owed for his own sin. He will spend eternity paying, separated from all of God’s goodness. Because Jesus never sinned He didn’t owe anything when He died, so His death is sufficient to cover all the sins of the world. This is and has always been God’s plan of redemption. Every person who confesses with their mouth and believes with their heart that Jesus is Lord and that God raised Him from the dead will be covered by Jesus’ death.
You might be asking the question, “If Christians have been made right with God through Jesus shouldn’t the world go well for them?” Good question. The answer is no. The entire New Testament continues to repeat what Jesus says in John 16:33, “In this world you will have trouble” Maybe even more trouble than those who choose not to follow Jesus. Jesus says harsh things like, “I am sending you out as sheep among wolves,” “Whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me,” “Whoever finds his life will lose it and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it,” (Matthew 10: 16, 38, 39). The truth for us as believers is we are going to face many trials and persecution. Peter encourages us in his first epistle, “Behold, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed” (4:12-13). Not only will we suffer, maybe even die for the sake of the Gospel, but we are to do it joyfully.
Paul writes a letter to the church at Philippi while he is in jail yet the major theme of this letter is joy. Clearly this joy in the midst of suffering is not some sadomasochistic worldview, but it is the lifestyle of someone who sees purpose and has grander vision. In Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians he writes, “For this slight and momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison” (4:17). Throughout the book of Acts we read over and over of Paul’s near death shipwrecks, beatings and imprisonment—that doesn’t seem very slight and momentary. It isn’t that these things aren’t a big deal or that we should suck it up and deal with what’s thrown at us, but the significant part of what Paul is writing is that this world is getting us ready for an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison! Heaven! Eternity with God forever—no sin, death—just perfection, can you even imagine? The lie we believe is that things are supposed to be good here and now, so even though they are not, we settle for today. We convince ourselves that the world is really going to come through for me. Instead of putting all our energy toward making this reality easy for us, we should be working out things that have eternal significance. It is said that only three things are eternal—God, His Word, and the souls of men. Rather than looking to see how we might benefit from the world we should seek to know God, His Word, and to love people like Jesus does. We should stop having a crush on the world—it’ll never work out anyway—and work toward the one relationship that changes everything. It may cost your life, but it’s the only way to true life everlasting.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

in America.

i'm in America for a while.
though not at home. i'm leaving for Shreveport, LA to work on a film set!
hooray!
things have been crazy, but good here and i'm excited about the prospect of having the same address for a little while.
its good to be home.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

keeping tabs on my life.

i feel like i've been all over the place, that's probably because i have :)
i returned from Central Asia 10 days ago and leave for Colorado on Monday, then return july 30. just in time to move into a new house (with a pool!). then August 11 i have to be in West Africa.

so my life's a little crazy, just the way I like it :)

Thursday, May 21, 2009

jon hainstock.

you probably need to check this out.
jon hainstock
http://vimeo.com/4193314

he's a friend of mine from college and one of the most talented people i know.
so buy his record, then buy another one to give to a friend.

www.jonhainstock.com

Monday, April 13, 2009

gyms.

the problem with working out in a gym is that you can go for miles and miles and never get anywhere.
you might swim laps in a pool, but still walk to your car the same distance from whence you parked it.
you might kick it on a stationary bike if the weather is icky and stil have gone literally no where.
or a treadmill, sweating your life away, breathing so heavily and go nowhere.
all this to say, no matter how hard you work, you don't get anywhere.
but that's kind of the way life is.
somehow there is a metaphor here.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

favorite new song

Where I Belong by Cory Asbury & Matt Gillman

Your presence is all I am longing for, here in the secret place
Your nearness is all I am waiting for, here in the quiet place
Here in the secret place

My soul waits for You alone
Like the watchmen wait for dawn
Here I’ve finally found a place
Where we’ll meet, Lord, face to face

I’ve finally found where I belong
I’ve finally found where I belong, in Your presence
I’ve finally found where I belong, it’s to be with You, to be with You

I am my Beloved’s and He is mine
So come into Your garden and take delight in me, take delight in me

Delight in me, delight in me
Delight in me, delight in me

Here in Your presence, God, I find my rest
Here in Your presence, God
check it out: http://www.myspace.com/coryasbury

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

light out.

so i was driving home the other night, from the airport. it was night and i was ready to get home. so as i am driving, i also am catching up on the phone calls. so i'm talking with bridget and all of a sudden i see lights flashing in my rearview mirror. i look at my speed-o-meter and i'm totally not speeding. i pull over and the officer taps on my passanger window (this has never happened to me), having manual windows, i lean over to the passanger side and roll it down. he says to me "did you know that your license plate light is out?" and i say "no, i'm so sorry." and he asked "where are you coming from?" and i said "i just flew back to town and i'm just going home." and he says, "are your arms tired?" to which i reply "no, what do you mean?" (i thought maybe i had been holding the steering wheel incorrectly) and he says "oh, i guess you came on a plane." and i couldn't believe he was making jokes. i don't know why that bothers me, but whenever i am pulled over, i always feel really tense and like i'm in trouble so making jokes doesn't work in my paradigm.

so if cops joke with you, laugh, i think it will make them feel better.

Friday, March 20, 2009

march madness.

i love march madness because for three weeks i can be really into basketball. when the truth is, i don't really understand the sport, nor do i follow it the rest of the season. its just so fun! i like that i get to pick who i think will win and talk smack, even though i don't know anything.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

the first try at using fondant. it went alright...i'll have to get some more practice.




here's one for march madness :)



Tuesday, February 24, 2009

cake decorating.

i am learning new cake decorating techniques.
and i'm loving it.
i am going to be doing a dozen cupcakes with fondant...maybe i'll put pictures up here.
the only problem is, i have no one to eat them. i'll have to find some people to eat them.
but i'm excited to work on cakes again. i really like it.

Monday, February 9, 2009

if i write a book...

my gram gave me a great title for a book i should write called "why we go where we aren't wanted"

she said i should write it because so many people in my family don't understand why i go places where i'm not wanted.

i told her the short answer is because people need to hear about the Truth about Jesus and everlasting life. so we go places we aren't invited, just like Jesus did.

i am so thankful that i get to go places where people have never heard the name of Jesus and i get to show people how they can know the Living God.

so maybe i should write this little book about why we go where we aren't wanted.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

tv watching

i really like house. i don't know why but i hope my doctor is a jerk, because then he's probably a really good doctor.
ever since i started watching the show every time i get a weird twitch or headache behind my right eye i think i have some ridiculous disease. so its kind of making me paranoid.
and now my gram watches a lot of ncis and csi, so she keeps wanting to pick up strings and twigs and put them in plastic bags, just in case there was a crime.

its really cold here, so we don't like leaving the house much.

Monday, January 12, 2009

the rope.

i'm standing on a precipice, yet there is no fear. i'm going to jump, but i'm attached. i've got a rope. it feels like i'm on a new cliff in this mountain adventure. i'm not sure if we will be going up or down, but i know i'm going. and i know i'm not going alone. but that i will end up somewhere i never could have dreamed of.

all i know is that rope has to be a sure thing. and i have to trust it implicitly. and i know that this adventure is it. its going to be the story of my life and this rope is my lifeline.


if you aren't picking up on it, there are spiritual undertones.
jesus is the rope. and its awesome. but would be totally unsafe without that rope. this life is not be done without that rope.