Sunday, November 2, 2008

i never know how to title these.

halloween, a time for ghouls, ghosts and dressing up. but somehow it makes me so sad. have you "A Perfect World"? it was a movie with Kevin Costner and Clint Eastwood, in it Costner kidnaps a little Jehovah's Witness boy and they weirdly become friends, that's not the point. the point is, there is a scene where the little boy who is kidnapped gets to celebrate his first halloween, he dresses up as casper the friendly ghost. and there is something in that scene that i remember as being so sad. i saw that movie when it came out in 1993 and haven't seen is since. but i always think of seeing that little boy's masked casper face around halloween time.
this was my first halloween at home since i graduated from college, and also my first halloween at home where my mom wasn't sitting on the front porch dressed like a pumpkin handing out candy to kids. i didn't realize how difficult it would be here in decatur, without her. the strangest things remind me of her.
today there was a woman in the library when i was there who has some sort of disability and she was so much like my mom. i almost started crying right there.
well, i guess all you ever get is super-melancholy.

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